"Justice is blind, but we prefer it with a good pair of glasses"
"I never forget a case, but in your case, I'll make an exception."
Specializing in making the impossible possible and the illegal somewhat less illegal. Graduate of Whatsamatta U, with honors in Creative Legal Interpretation.
"In law, as in life, there's always a loophole."
Master of legal wordplay and expert in finding the fine print that others miss. Holds the record for most cases won by pure confusion.
"Between the two of us, we have over 75 years of experience.
(Though we can't exactly remember where we put most of them.)"
"Where the law meets imagination, and usually gets very confused."
"We make contracts so complex, even we don't understand them."
"Finding the holes in the law since before they were legal."
"Making family reunions awkward since 1929."
"Your neighbor's fence is 3 inches over? That's our specialty!"
"Making sure your cat inherits more than your children."
"Specializing in making mountains out of molehills"
Tax Evasion Prevention Specialist
"I've never lost a case I've won"
Creative Defense Coordinator
"Finding loopholes is my hobby"
Contract Confusion Expert
"Our team has collectively confused more judges than any other firm in the state!"
"We'll get back to you faster than you can say 'objection overruled'"
Monday - Friday: 9am - 5pm
(Or whenever we feel inspired)
42 Legal Lane
Courthouse Square
Somewhere, ST 12345
Phone: (555) LAW-JOKE
Email: cases@flywheelshyster.com
"Remember: It's not about winning or losing, it's about how creatively you can interpret the law!"
Any resemblance between actual legal advice and the content provided on this website is purely coincidental and probably inadvisable.
Warning: Side effects of our services may include confusion, uncontrollable laughter, and a general distrust of the legal system.
* Not responsible for any legal advice given freely, accidentally, or while under the influence of too much coffee.
** Success rates are calculated using advanced mathematical formulas that even we don't understand.
*** In the event of an actual legal emergency, please consult a real lawyer (though we'd argue about what "real" means).
© Flywheel, Shyster & Flywheel - Making Law Funny Since Yesterday